Monuments, Smug Atheists, and Hemorrhoids

01/11/2014 20:14

The Ten Commandments cause problems. Many people, even Christians,  want to do away with them.


It goes back to that time when Moses came down from the mountain carrying the carefully crafted tablets written upon by the finger of God. What Moses encountered when he reached the bottom raised ire in him.


So it was, as soon as he came near the camp, that he saw the calf and the dancing. So Moses’ anger became hot, and he cast the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain. Exodus 32:19


Obviously, God’s expectations were just a tad too high. A little party while the boss man was away was harmless and it relieved tension after all that hectic traveling. After all, it was pretty traumatic dodging all those plagues and getting chased by a mad horde of Egyptians. Humanity’s excuses aren’t even very creative.


It just seems throughout history those tablets have caused lots of problems. In fact, they seem to attract misbehavior in people. Whenever the Ten Commandments make an appearance, there is quite a reaction. You can count on it.  That’s how it has been throughout history and that’s how it is today.


It’s happening today in Oklahoma City. Everything was fine until last November when a state representative donated money to plant a seven foot monument of the Ten Commandments right on the state capitol grounds. Almost immediately came the negative reactions.  The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) sued to take it down. Following that came a Satanists group demanding they have a Satanic monument next to it. Not to be undone, a Hindu group demanded their rights too, and somehow the Masons are involved with their Satanic agenda. If officials allow all the monuments that everyone claims the right to have, there won’t be an easy way into the capitol building.



The atheists would demand a monument if they had something that represented what they don’t believe. But, they have nothing that represents nothing, so they just remain smug.


Those pesky Ten Commandments bring out the ugly in people. Perhaps the Oklahoma atheists and Satanists are taking their lead from their brethren in Florida.


Maybe courthouses across the country can begin to have their lawns dotted with various competing monuments. Courthouse lawns will begin to look like gothic graveyards.


So if we did away with the Ten Commandments there would be no issue today. Everyone would live in harmony.


Ugly isn’t the only thing those pesky commandments bring out.  The Philistines become smug about having the Ark of the Covenant and thought they would plant a monument to their false god Dagon next to the Ark—which contained the Ten Commandment tablets. Here’s what happened:


And the Philistines took the ark of God and brought it from Ebenezer unto Ashdod. When the Philistines took the ark of God, they brought it into the house of Dagon and set it by Dagon. And when those of Ashdod arose early on the morrow, behold, Dagon had fallen upon his face to the earth before the ark of the Lord. And they took Dagon and set him in his place again. And when they arose early on the morrow morning, behold, Dagon had fallen upon his face to the ground before the ark of the Lord; and the head of Dagon and both the palms of his hands were cut off upon the threshold; only the stump of Dagon was left to him. Therefore neither the priests of Dagon nor any who come into Dagon’s house tread on the threshold of Dagon in Ashdod unto this day. But the hand of the Lord was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids, even Ashdod and the borders thereof. And when the men of Ashdod saw that it was so, they said, “The ark of the God of Israel shall not abide with us, for his hand is sore upon us and upon Dagon our god.” They sent therefore and gathered all the lords of the Philistines unto them and said, “What shall we do with the ark of the God of Israel?” And they answered, “Let the ark of the God of Israel be carried about unto Gath.” And they carried the ark of the God of Israel about thither. And it was so that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the Lord was against the city with a very great destruction; and He smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had hemorrhoids in their secret parts. 1 Samuel 5:1-9


I honestly can’t think of anything much uglier than having hemorrhoids in your secret part. Remember, that was back in the day before Preparation H. No relief. After that, the smugness left and nobody wanted the Ark and its Ten Commandments. They couldn’t even give it to their worst enemies.


And the men who died not were smitten with the hemorrhoids; and the cry of the city went up to heaven. 1 Samuel 5:12


When people cry out to God, they’ve had enough and want to change. This was the Great Hemorrhoidal Revival. I think we need another such revival in Oklahoma and Florida.


Now the miserable Philistines were done with the Ark. Their smugness was totally gone and all they wanted to do was to get rid of that Ark and those pesky Ten Commandments. They asked their priests, and the priests said to give it back but with gifts. Now here is where you have to see that God has a sense of humor. The priests suggested making images of hemorrhoids out of gold as a sacrificial peace offering to the God of Israel so that they would take the Ark back.


Now imagine trying to form hemorrhoids out of gold. The artists had to look at one another’s secret places to see what hemorrhoids looked like and they had to use their hands to make these golden images of hemorrhoids. If you ever wanted to know the difference between humility and humiliation, well, you have it right here. God knows how to humiliate when people refuse to walk in humility.


The Ten Commandments cause problems for those who don’t respect the power and authority of God. I look for the time when God shows Himself and His authority among the monuments. There is no secret place that won’t be found and even struck by Him. God is God and there is no other beside Him.


Image: Capitol at Austin, Texas


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US Congress Invites a Curse on America

The White House invites a Curse

Sizing Up God at a Florida Courthouse 


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